Day 25 - Sea Day - Reflections

Traveling is one of the best ways to meet interesting people. No special skills required. People just pop up and enrich the trip. Investing time in others usually results in productive and memorable experiences. Sometimes not so much.

On the Rio excursion I had one of those memorable opportunities and chance meetings. We'll call him Mr. Zorn because although our paths crossed several times, we never had the opportunity for a meaningful conversation.

The shore day had gotten off to a rough start. We had ticketing issues, excursion departure time confusion and Joan required a second adjustment to her medical device. Let me be clear, these were not Royal Caribbean issues. They were all our issues. Despite the challenges, after a long walk on a short pier we made it to the bus on time.

Everything was finally progressing smoothly. We could relax on the large comfortable bus and enjoy the tour. Although it was hot and humid outside, the bus A/C handled it well blasting out plenty of cold dry air. Life is good.

It was quite a drive to the first stop and I noticed something wasn't quite right. My neck and shoulders were tense with occasional muscle cramps. Breathing became difficult. It felt like I was being choked. These were not new to me and first began while battling cancer. Past experiences suggested the cause was one or more of the following: Physical stress, Mental stress, Dry cold air, Wrong Synthroid dosage or Synthroid absorption issues. In the past, symptoms improved by removing myself from stressors, relaxing, controlled breathing and seeking out warm moist air. Not wanting to alarm anyone, I managed the situation best I could, but Joan knew. She always does.

By the time we reached the first stop, symptoms started improving. I couldn't wait to get outside and inhale some warm moist air. We parked, the tour guide got out and was waiting for everyone to get off. No one stood up to get off. Everyone just sat there. It seemed like forever. I was confused. I was six short rows from breathing warm moist fresh air, so I stood up and slowly and moved towards the front. When passing Mr. Zorn's row I heard something about, rude, impolite, who do you think you are, others in front of you waiting, etc. At this point I realized I was literally speechless and physically unable to talk, which I had also experienced before.

Once outside the fresh air felt so good. While waiting for Joan, Mr. Zorn approached. It was loud between the buses, but I was hoping to explain the situation and that I appreciated his understanding. Before I could say anything he got in my face and with a sports bar demeanor ran the gauntlet of insults again. Even if I could talk I never got the chance. I guess Mr. Zorn was having a bad day too.

The excursion rolled on and my situation improved. On completion we boarded the ship and caught lunch in the Windjammer like usual. As luck would have it, out of all the available tables, Mr. Zorn and his wife selected one next to ours. Obviously I really offended him since the same loud insults continued with the inclusion of "all I wanted was a simple apology and all he did was ignore us". I felt sorry for Mr. Zorn. He still had issues with me but the Windjammer was definitely not the time or place to address them.

I thought about Mr. Zorn over the next several days along with a statement Dr. K. made several years ago. The statement was basically "None of us are perfect, some just hide the defects better". Perhaps Mr. Zorn had "baggage" too. Was he fighting demons or past issues and I unknowingly triggered them? I can see how my actions were probably misunderstood and last thing I wanted was cause anyone distress. I decided if Mr. Zorn was encountered again under more favorable conditions, I would apologize as he wished. It was the right thing to do.

The day came and I approached Mr. Zorn. I introduced myself and before I could finish apologizing the tirade started again. I feel sorry for Mr. Zorn and now realize his behaviors go much deeper than merely misunderstanding our tour bus encounter. I tried to put his mind at ease, but failed. I can't fix everything. Best wishes to Mr. Zorn with hopes he finds a more peaceful life one day.

I shared this not to be "That Guy" calling out others, but rather encourage de-escalation, understanding and compassion in difficult situations. Seldom do we interact with the real person, but typically encounter a partial and distorted reflection of what people aspire to be. What is being hidden? Now days many choose an obnoxious sports bar demeanor filled with hate. Anger management issues are often falsely interpreted as power and strength. Is putting others down regarded as superiority? Strange world we live in.

What type of image do you wish to portray? None of us are perfect, some just hide the defects better. A little understanding goes a long way. The best way to improve the world is to begin with ourselves.